Mobile Vaani

Assistant1: Bro what happened? Asst 2: Face full of band-aid, plaster in your hand??? VM: I got hurt while doing practice. Asst 1: Bro, You already know to ride bike!!! Asst 2: No man.. Maybe he tried to do Bungy jump and finally it became Monkey jump. That's why he got hurt. Am I right bro? VM: What!!! Monkey jump??!! Asst 1: Yeaaa.. Monkey jump. Where a monkey jumps from one tree to another. VM: Why should I try to jump like a monkey and why should i practice it. Already there is no tree in this country. ANd on top of it i have to practice to jump from tree to tree. Asst 1: No.. But you have hurt yourself so much and lost your hand!!! VM: Hey stop it. WHere did I lose my hand??!! Its here only. Its just POP. of late you guys are thinking like tarror. Asst 1: Bro, that's not tarror, its terror. VM: yea, This correction is really important now. You understood what i said?? then shut up. Asst 1: Bro, how come you got hurt so much? Asst 2: Yes bro tell us. VM: Hey come here.. One person is hurt so badly and you people are making fun of him!! Rascal!! Asst 1: Bro, how come you got hurt so much? VM: I got hurt while practicing how a lawyer fights the case in court. Asst 1: What!!!! You got hurt while practicing like fighting like a lawyer??? VM: Ahhh haaa yes... Asst 2: Bro, in All India, No no no. In all over world, you are the only one who got hurt so much while practicing to act like a lawyer. Asst 1: But how will you get hurt while practicing like a lawyer??? ASst 2: May be he forgot to tell the opposite lawyer that it is a practice and he should have given him nice punches like WWF. AM i right bro?? VM: First you stitch a zip for your mouth. Asst 1; Bro, you tell us. VM: Hey wait!! Dont annoy me. I will tell you. Yesterday they telecasted an old movie in TV. Asst: ok. VM: In that M.R Radha will act like a scared lawyer. Asst 1: Just like you!! VM: Hmm Yes!! To fight in court he takes practice at home and makes his wife as the judge. Asst 2: Yes yes. Even i have seen it. Its full of fun. VM: So even i thought of practicing like it and made my wife sit as Judge.

Client: Sir, Hello sir. VM: Hello. Client: Sir who is Vandumurugan here? VM: Yes its me. Client: Sir I want to meet Adv. Vandumuruan. VM: Why, dont i look like an advocate? Client: I have to file a case. I enquired about the best advocate here, everyone are saying your name sir. VM: What!!! They referred my name for good lawyers??!! Client: Yes sir!! VM: I cant believe this. Client: Till now you have attended only 2 cases. Judge madam was flabbergasted by the way you argue and she took the transfer and went it seems. VM: She left is it???!!!! Alas!!! Client: Sis sir sir, Please dont reject my case. You have to undertake my case sir. quarter or half i am ready to pay it sir. VM: what?? Quarter or half?? Client: I will give one cutting as advance. VM: So your dealing is only with quarter??!!! Client: Yes sir. I never respect money sir. VM: Hmm Very nice!! Client: Sir sir, Please tell that you will handle my case sir. If you handle it, I will give one pickle packet as free. VM: I think you are a mobile mini bar. Client: Yes sir. VM: Ok ok. Tell me your name and tell me what is the case?? Whether to handle it or not we will decide it later. Client: Sir My name is Vadakaipatti Ramaswamy. My case is, you have to get me bonus. VM: Bonus??!!! Client: Diwali bonus!!! VM: Which company and how many years of Service? Client: Sir, 52 years of service sir. VM: Person with 52 years of service has bonus!!!! Client: Till now not even once they have given the bonus sir. VM: What?? Not even once?? You dont worry!! You have come to the right place. We will get for entire service.

Judge: What?? Kuberan vs Poor man company? VM: Yes mam! Judge: Who is the lawyer? VM: Me, Vandu Murugan mam. Judge: Whats the case? VM: The one who is standing in the witness box is running a garment factory in the name of Poor man company. Judge: What is that Poor man company? Accused: This company is run for the poor people by this poor man, thats why it is called as Poorman company. Judge: You, in hulk's size!!! You are poor!!!??? Accused: I am innocent by heart!! Judge: Hmmmm Proceed. VM: My client is working in his company your honor. His name is Kuberan. Judge: Whats the problem? VM: Every month PF has been deducted from my clients salary. But when my client was in need of money he thought of taking loan on PF. Initially he made him wander for it and finally he said no for it!! Accused: OMG!!! He is Lying your honor!! This fellow didnt work in my company!! I dont even know who is he?? VM: Hello!! How many are working in your company? Accused: 19 people. VM: From how long you are running this company? Accused: From 7 years. VM: Do you have enrollment note in your company? Accused: What is that?? VM: (Says in Tamil) Judge: 19 people are working in your company and there is no enrollment note!! Accused: Thats what i told in the beginning mam, mine is a poor company. VM: Do you have card punching machine in your company?? Accused: Oh God!!!! Mine is poor company sir. I dont have all that. VM: What is this owner sir??!! You are wearing thick gold chains in your neck like cow's chain, and you are wearing huge size ring, bracelet and on top of it you have gold teeth too!! But you are saying Poor company!! Accused: Lawyer sir, that where you have misunderstood it!! VM: What misunderstanding? Accused: Only me and my company is poor. But my wife is not poor. VM: Then how did you get this gold and diamonds?? Accused: My wife gifted me all these!! VM: Good that he didnt say that Mysore King gifted him all these!! So you have not deducted PF for him? Accused: I already told you that i dont even know him!!! VM: How do you pay salary for your staffs? Accused: With my hands!! VM: I meant do you transfer it in their account or give it to them as cash directly??

Judge: What?? Kuberan vs Poor man company? VM: Yes mam! Judge: Who is the lawyer? VM: Me, Vandu Murugan mam. Judge: Whats the case? VM: The one who is standing in the witness box is running a garment factory in the name of Poor man company. Judge: What is that Poor man company? Accused: This company is run for the poor people by this poor man, thats why it is called as Poorman company. Judge: You, in hulk's size!!! You are poor!!!??? Accused: I am innocent by heart!! Judge: Hmmmm Proceed. VM: My client is working in his company your honor. His name is Kuberan. Judge: Whats the problem? VM: Every month PF has been deducted from my clients salary. But when my client was in need of money he thought of taking loan on PF. Initially he made him wander for it and finally he said no for it!! Accused: OMG!!! He is Lying your honor!! This fellow didnt work in my company!! I dont even know who is he?? VM: Hello!! How many are working in your company? Accused: 19 people. VM: From how long you are running this company? Accused: From 7 years. VM: Do you have enrollment note in your company? Accused: What is that?? VM: (Says in Tamil) Judge: 19 people are working in your company and there is no enrollment note!! Accused: Thats what i told in the beginning mam, mine is a poor company. VM: Do you have card punching machine in your company?? Accused: Oh God!!!! Mine is poor company sir. I dont have all that. VM: What is this owner sir??!! You are wearing thick gold chains in your neck like cow's chain, and you are wearing huge size ring, bracelet and on top of it you have gold teeth too!! But you are saying Poor company!! Accused: Lawyer sir, that where you have misunderstood it!! VM: What misunderstanding? Accused: Only me and my company is poor. But my wife is not poor. VM: Then how did you get this gold and diamonds?? Accused: My wife gifted me all these!! VM: Good that he didnt say that Mysore King gifted him all these!! So you have not deducted PF for him? Accused: I already told you that i dont even know him!!! VM: How do you pay salary for your staffs? Accused: With my hands!! VM: I meant do you transfer it in their account or give it to them as cash directly??

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Clerk: Next case number 7081. Kuppan vs Kuppayi. Judge: Kuppan Kuppayi. Nice name. VM: That is the case mam. Judge: Oh Vandu murugan's case is it? VM: Yes Madam. Judge: Proceed please. VM: Thank you your honor. Judge: Oh my God!! Start start VM: My lord, it is a tradition that says that 1 woman for 1 man. Judge: Hmmm Super. Carry on!! VM: OMG!! Where did i stop??!! I forgot. Judge: 1 woman for 1 man.. VM: Thank you, your honor. A man should marry a girl and a should live with her only. Look at this kuppan, he is not an ordinary Kuppan he is a fraud Kuppan. He has spoiled our old tradition. Judge: What?? Spoiled?? VM: Yes your honor. Even after having a wife, he has another affair. He has taken a PF from her. So I request the court to give that money to this lady and help her. That's all your honor. Judge: Hey Kuppan. You already have a wife and why you need another person in life. Kuppan: Mam i don't have any other person in life. Judge: Then why did she file a case against you. And why should Vandu Murugan shout breathlessly for your wife. VM: Thank you mam. Kuppan: Mam, I am a mill worker. yesterday i got my salary. I gave that cover at home. In that cover, PF was mentioned. I said I am tired so ask neighborhood person and I slept. When I got up I was brought here. Judge: Hey Vandu, even you are bad in English. And even your client doesnt know English. What do uicall PF in Tamil? VM: Your honor it is varumkala sema nala nidhi. Judge: That is also called varumkaala vaipu nidhi. This whole month in TTCU kural they are going to give information on PF. Listen and let me know. VM: Ok mam. Judge: Rs.150 fine for not listening properly from the client and wasting the court's time.

Client: Sir, Hello sir. VM: Hello. Client: Sir who is Vandumurugan here? VM: Yes its me. Client: Sir I want to meet Adv. Vandumuruan. VM: Why, dont i look like an advocate? Client: I have to file a case. I enquired about the best advocate here, everyone are saying your name sir. VM: What!!! They referred my name for good lawyers??!! Client: Yes sir!! VM: I cant believe this. Client: Till now you have attended only 2 cases. Judge madam was flabbergasted by the way you argue and she took the transfer and went it seems. VM: She left is it???!!!! Alas!!! Client: Sis sir sir, Please dont reject my case. You have to undertake my case sir. quarter or half i am ready to pay it sir. VM: what?? Quarter or half?? Client: I will give one cutting as advance. VM: So your dealing is only with quarter??!!! Client: Yes sir. I never respect money sir. VM: Hmm Very nice!! Client: Sir sir, Please tell that you will handle my case sir. If you handle it, I will give one pickle packet as free. VM: I think you are a mobile mini bar. Client: Yes sir. VM: Ok ok. Tell me your name and tell me what is the case?? Whether to handle it or not we will decide it later. Client: Sir My name is Vadakaipatti Ramaswamy. My case is, you have to get me bonus. VM: Bonus??!!! Client: Diwali bonus!!! VM: Which company and how many years of Service? Client: Sir, 52 years of service sir. VM: Person with 52 years of service has bonus!!!! Client: Till now not even once they have given the bonus sir. VM: What?? Not even once?? You dont worry!! You have come to the right place. We will get for entire service.

I am Saranya from Kodaikanal, kadaimalai. We were taken from Tirupur based company for work saying its a vests company. But it turned out to be a plastic company. They told us they will give us monthly salary but after going there they said salary will be given only if we stay there for 6 months. When we came back to home they didnt pay us salary. They just gave Rs.1500 for expenses. When we asked for salary they said they can give salary only f they work for 6 months. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am Mahadevi from Kodaikanal, kadaimalai. I worked in plastic company. They didnt give salary but they gave money for expense. When we asked for salary they said they can give salary only f they work for 6 months. They took us saying its a vest company but it was a plastic company.

I am Pushpa from Melakottai, Madurai Dist. My grandpa worked as sanitation worker for 30 years. Now he is 60 years and got retired. So far he has not received any settlement money. Can he get money? Please tell me.

Grievance: I am Parvathy from Idayakottai. My son lost his life in an accident and we have applied for PF. But so far we didn’t get any reply. You should help us. Reply: You need work ID proof, payslip, PF Number, UAN number, PAN number, Adhar card and death certificate submit in PF office to get PF money