Mobile Vaani

Assistant1: Bro what happened? Asst 2: Face full of band-aid, plaster in your hand??? VM: I got hurt while doing practice. Asst 1: Bro, You already know to ride bike!!! Asst 2: No man.. Maybe he tried to do Bungy jump and finally it became Monkey jump. That's why he got hurt. Am I right bro? VM: What!!! Monkey jump??!! Asst 1: Yeaaa.. Monkey jump. Where a monkey jumps from one tree to another. VM: Why should I try to jump like a monkey and why should i practice it. Already there is no tree in this country. ANd on top of it i have to practice to jump from tree to tree. Asst 1: No.. But you have hurt yourself so much and lost your hand!!! VM: Hey stop it. WHere did I lose my hand??!! Its here only. Its just POP. of late you guys are thinking like tarror. Asst 1: Bro, that's not tarror, its terror. VM: yea, This correction is really important now. You understood what i said?? then shut up. Asst 1: Bro, how come you got hurt so much? Asst 2: Yes bro tell us. VM: Hey come here.. One person is hurt so badly and you people are making fun of him!! Rascal!! Asst 1: Bro, how come you got hurt so much? VM: I got hurt while practicing how a lawyer fights the case in court. Asst 1: What!!!! You got hurt while practicing like fighting like a lawyer??? VM: Ahhh haaa yes... Asst 2: Bro, in All India, No no no. In all over world, you are the only one who got hurt so much while practicing to act like a lawyer. Asst 1: But how will you get hurt while practicing like a lawyer??? ASst 2: May be he forgot to tell the opposite lawyer that it is a practice and he should have given him nice punches like WWF. AM i right bro?? VM: First you stitch a zip for your mouth. Asst 1; Bro, you tell us. VM: Hey wait!! Dont annoy me. I will tell you. Yesterday they telecasted an old movie in TV. Asst: ok. VM: In that M.R Radha will act like a scared lawyer. Asst 1: Just like you!! VM: Hmm Yes!! To fight in court he takes practice at home and makes his wife as the judge. Asst 2: Yes yes. Even i have seen it. Its full of fun. VM: So even i thought of practicing like it and made my wife sit as Judge.

Story on "This too shall pass"

Dharmadurai: Hello Good morning sir. VM: Yea Good Morning. Dharmadurai: I am a Dharmadurai. VM: Oh do you donate things often?? (Dharma means Donate in Tamil) D: No.. Why?? VM: Nothing... You said you are A Dharmdurai. So i thought you are king of Donation. D: No no. I said my name is Dharmadurai. VM: Oho... What's the matter? D: I came to meet you regarding a gas mater. VM: Gas? Is it Indane gas or Bharath Gas? D: The Gas i meant is an issue. VM: Oh Issue...Dharmadurai, its not Gas, its case!! D: I am not able to pronounce it, let us say it as an issue. VM: ok.. What is the issue? Please tell me. D: I should be appointed as one of the members in ICC. You please file a case and make me a member. VM: ICC?? What is this new thing? What does it mean? D: ICC means Indian Cricket Council. VM: Oh is it?? Ok but he looks like a fool, what will he do by joining Indian cricket council? Let me ask him. Mr. Dharmadurai, ICC is a place where retired people like, Kapil, Ganguly, Sachin will be appointed. What is your work there? D: If retired, they should go home! Why should they go to ICC? VM: He is asking more questions than Judge mam. Maybe he knows everything. I should not leave him. Ok Mr. Dharmadurai, what will you do after joining ICC? D: Sir, if I become a member in ICC, i can watch all the matches free of cost. Oh maybe thats why they didn't join me in that. VM: Oh then without knowing anything about it, you wanted to become the member in ICC??!! D: Yes sir, Its been 6 months that i have joined mill. Fro the day i have joined, i am asking them to join me as a member in ICC, but they are not joining me. VM: Did you ask mill people to join in ICC???!!! D: Yes sir. I am a millworker. So i can ask in mill only. Asst 1: Sir, the ICC he is saying is not Indian Cricket Council!! VM: Then?? Asst 1: Internal Complaint Committee. VM: What??? Internal Complaint Committee??!!! Hey, cant you ask properly? Yo are saying in Sehwag style so i thought it is related to Cricket. D: Hey, Cricket is played by taking one of the branches of Coconut tree?? Isnt it?? VM: What??? Coconut branch???!!! OMG he is going to kill everything... Dharmadurai, please leave it!!! If Virat Kohli comes to know about it, he go mad and leave the country. D: Who is he?? Is he the son of mill owner. VM: Very nice. You better be with this problem Its good for you, me and this country. Ok?? No please tell me only about your problem. D: I should be joined in ICC committee. VM: Ok.. Let me tell you, in a mill there will be a committee called Internal Complaint Committee. You first know, who all can be the members in that committee. D: Tell me sir. VM: 1 person from the company management, 1 social worker, 1 woman psychiatrist, 1 woman advocate, 1 representative from the worker's side, who is selected by workers and who is working from long term. That too the ratio for the mill worker representative is 1 person for 25 workers. Another important thing is, workers should select these members. Just because you are willing, you won't be joined as a member. D: Now I understood sir. VM: What did you understand? D: Its only 6 months that i have joined in the mill, that's why they are not joining me. VM: Exactly. D: But sir, as you gave the list like Doctor, Social worker etc, they are not working in our mill as labors??!!! VM: Hey you, to become the member in mill, will the doctor and social worker will come to your mill to work!!! They will be outsiders. D: Oh then its ok. VM: You please go out first. D: Thank you sir.

The story about trying

Story on how to use our tongue for good and bad

VM: The tonic which you gave has started its work. I remember my last birth and what all i learnt in that birth I am able to remember now. Asst 1: I thought you giving you this medicine because you were getting insulted by forgetting the law points. No you have finished entire bottle in 1 shot and now talking about last birth. What shall i do now bro??!! VM: Hahaha. Helper, what is the problem faced by the person who came to me seeking help?? Asst1: Ahhhh Sexual abuse bro. VM: Oh Sexual abuse has been given. Karuda Puranam says that for such acts, Sanmali punishments must be given. Asst 1: What?? Chanu mali??? VM: Yes my dear Helper!! In hell they will have a stick completely wrapped with thorns and they will be beaten on a regular basis. Ok.. What is the work doneby the one who gave sexual assault? Asst 1: he is a mill supervisor. VM: Then Karuda puranam also says the Agni Dhandam can be given to those who forcefully occupies others property and uses the influence to get his things done. Asst 1: It means?? VM: It means helpers in Hell will tie his legs and hands and roast him in fire. Asst 1: Just like Tandoori chicken is roasted in Hotel, is it like that? VM: You are absolutely right. Sanmali or Agni kundam should be the punishment given to the ..... what did you say his name? Asst 1: Mill Supervisor. VM: Yess,, If such punishments are given to those who are troubling women, by watching this, other people will learn a lesson. Asst 1: Right bro. VM: You take them to the King. Asst 1: I will go but before that i will buy correcting medicine for yo and then i will go. VM: Why? Asst1: Bro, this is 2019. Now they wont punish people on the basis of Karuda puranam. VM: Then?? Asst 1: They punish people as per the Indian Government Law. VM: When i am here as a King's Minister, how can they follow such laws??!! Asst1: OMG!! If i am not buying medicine immediately, even i will go mad like this. Bro, come fast bro!! VM: where?? Asst 1: Let us go and meet the Doctor. VM: Who?? The doctor who is incharge for the Palace?? Asst 1: Yes yes... You take it like that. First lets go!! James: As a result of appealing in High court by a girl named Vishaka, there should be a team to investigate the issue of sexual assault in each and every working place where women are working. This is applicable for Govt, Govt aided and private companies. So on the basis of this, team must be formed. Hiw this group is formed? representatives from the workers, representatives from administration, women advocate, Psychologist, social worker, he can be from MSW, BSW or MA sociology background they should be part of the committee. If there is union inside the company, their representatives must be there.

Asst 1: Bro... bro.... here all to sear for you bro... What bro, sitting under Banyan tree like a saint!!! VM: A banyan tree gives oxygen to breath 2000 people. So i thought of taking some fresh air. Asst: Ok ok cme bro. There is a new case. VM: Case?? Asst 2: Yes bro. Asst1: A mill owner has given sexual harassment to a girl. The girl has come to file a case against that person. VM: Great!! If women start fighting back, they can chase any monsters. Asst 1: What's wrong with him??!! He is talking weird. VM: Helpers, take that woman to King!!! Asst1: King???!!! Oh you are talking about Judge?? VM: Yes. Let her go and bell the investigation bell. And let her ask the justice to the King. Asst 1:: What?? Investigation bell and King??? No n something is wrong. Bro, did you watch any kings related movie or any dummy serials? VM: No my Helper. You got a tonic to improve my memory power. It started working. Asst 1: Bro.. what are you saying?? VM: Hhehehe.. Take this tonic bottle. Asst1: What is this?? the bottle is empty. VM: Helper!!! I took that entire tonic in one shot. Asst 1: What?? Took it in one shot?? Bro you are supposed to take this for 2 months. VM: I know i know. You told me that. that taste was good, So i thought rather than taking little daily, i can increase my memory power in one go. SO i ate and i got it. VM: Yes...I remember that I was a minister in Pandavas assembly and knew Karuda puranam. Asst 1: What... Pandavas??? and Karuda puranam???!!!!

Story on Joy of Giving.

Transcript Unavailable.

VM: Life is like a cycle. Dont wag your tail its a vehicle. Client: Can I come in? I am Michael! VM: In movies lawyer says so many punch dialogues once he enters the court. But when I enter the court, i say only punctured dialogues. If i feel like saying punch dialogues inside the room, even for that they are not allowing!! Whats the matter man? Client: I want to file a case for my dad asking for the pension. VM: Just because you are his son, pension cant be given!! Client: Sir he is 58 years old. VM: Huh, after 1 year he will be 59. Time will not wait anyone. Client: Did I ask why my dad 59 years old?? VM: So even this punch dialogue i not suitable for this??!! Hmmm. Client: You are trying to say punch dialogues, even that itself is not suitable sir!! VM: Ok leave it! Client: Sir pension for my dad?? VM: Brother, there are so many varieties in pension. Only if i know what kind of work he was doing, i can tell you what kind of pension is suitable for him. Client: Oh so we can choose the pension by doing inky pinky ponky!! VM: Huh, if possible you try playing hide and seek and other games to with pension!! Client:: Oh God!! Sir, you only said that there are so many varieties in pension. VM: Ok listen, i will tell you. Wishes are 100 types and pension is 6 types. Client: Sir again you are saying punch dialogues. VM: Shut up this nonsense and stop talking in between. Punch dialogue or puncture dialogue. Just see whether i am conveying the matter rightly or not. Client: Sir convey is conveyor belt right?? VM:  My dear, conveying is telling. Just leave it. Even i will also stop. I will tell you point to point. Just listen it. Client: Point 1- VM: Contribution pension. Client: Point 2- VM: Investment pension Client: Point 3- VM: Widow pension Client: Point 4- VM: Old age Pension Client: Point 5- VM: Employment based pension. Client: What can Point 6? VM: Hey am I doing a drama here?? Client: Just asked for a rhythm!! VM: Huh if i talk its a punch dialogue, But if you talk its a rhythm!! Client: Sir its a small point so make it softly. VM: Hmmm Listen, Its for unorganised workers. Client: Ok but which pension is suitable for my dad?? VM: This episode's time is over. So lets talk about it on next episode i.e 63rd episode. SO wait till then!!